All About the Leedle's

This was my tribute to my mom that was read at her memorial service:

Years ago, Mom used to watch David Letterman, so in the spirit of his daily Top Ten list, I have come up with the Top 10 things I learned from Mom.

10. When in doubt, make a list. Mom had lists for everything – phone numbers, agendas, medications, things to pack on a trip, things to do before a party, food menus for get-togethers. You name it – she probably had a list for it. She continued her list making even though her hand-writing was not what it used to be. She would write the list and then ask me to type it up for her. When Jeff and I moved into the house in Germantown 9 years ago, she typed up and gave us a list of phone numbers for the neighbors, local restaurants and the essential city numbers like the village hall, the post office and the rec. department. To this day, the list is posted on our fridge and is used at least weekly.

9. Whatever something costs, you can find it for ½ price (or less) somewhere else. Mom was a huge fan of rummaging and clearance shopping and was able to find anything you were looking for. If you mentioned you were looking for a unicycle, she would find it. She would often call me from a rummage sale or store and say, “I found such and such for $1.00 – do you want it?” I have picked up her knack for finding deals and although I don’t think Jeff believes me, I have saved our family a ton of money. Just this week I came home from Kohl’s with a pair of black dress pants and a sweater for a total of $12.00. It truly is a finely tuned skill to find deals like that - I am so thankful she passed that onto me.

8. Always smile – it makes a huge impact on others. When I was younger, I was shy, and I mean REALLY shy. We would see people from school at a store or restaurant and I would be too afraid to say hello. The kids always knew my mom so she would smile and say hello to them and practically force me to do the same. I hated it at the time but over the years I have seen the impact she had on people when she would greet them with a big smile. It put them at ease immediately and would put a smile on their face. I sure am going to miss her beautiful smile.

7. Have fun and laugh a lot. Even though our family had our share of hard times over the years, we more than compensated with the fun we had. Whether it was our weekly family game night, backyard pool parties, having our own Iditarod (the dogs would pull us around the house in a sled), or the Frisbee games with the neighborhood kids in the backyard, Mom always made sure we were having a good time. Thanks to her, I now play a mean game of Payday and Pit, in case anyone is up for a challenge.

6. Make daily routine chores and events, non-routine. One of my most vivid memories of our family when I was young is when the sheets got washed at our house. Katie or I would lay down on one of the sheets and my parents would grab both ends and swing us back and forth. It was better than a roller-coaster ride – and it could be the reason I don’t despise doing laundry today. Another thing she did was make it a race for us all to get buckled in the car. It was a time before buckling your seatbelt was the law and she wanted to make sure we made it a habit for when we were old enough to drive on our own. It worked, because if I’m moving my car in a parking lot from one space to another, you better believe I have my seatbelt on.

5. Make everyone feel important. Another one of the many things Mom did well was make anyone and everyone feel important. I saw this mostly in the way she related to children. They would flock to her when she would sit down on a floor with toys and she would play with them – and I mean truly play with them. Not just sit there while involved in an adult conversation or watching TV or doing something else. She gave them her full attention and it made them feel special. More recently I saw this in the way she related to the other patients where she went to get dialysis 3 times a week. It certainly was not something to look forward to but the other patients along with the nurses and workers were her friends and she went out of her way to get to know them and make them feel important. I know they are all missing their friend today.

4. Serve others. This was Mom’s specialty – almost to a fault. She was unable to go to any function or get-together without helping in some way. During recent years when her health started to slow her down, I would say to her, “Mom, why don’t you just come and BE at this party. Don’t bring anything, don’t worry about helping – just sit and relax.” She told me that she was physically unable to do so and would rather skip the party. I am sure almost every person in this place today has a story about how Mom served them in one way or another. It was a true gift she had and we all could learn from the unselfish way in which she lived her life.

3. Love your children and grandchildren unconditionally. There is no question that she did this better than anyone I know. During the 8 years I played volleyball thru high school and college, I think you could count on two hands the number of home games she missed. I always knew she was so proud of me, even if I didn’t have a good game. While I was away at college (a whole 30 miles to UW-Milwaukee), I would get care packages, postcards and letters from her weekly. Even as an adult, on birthdays I would find a cake and candles in my fridge when I got home from work. She always made us feel special and deeply loved. Regarding her grandchildren, there are not adequate words, nor do we have the time, to explain how much she loved them. My heart is broken from the thought that my three children will grow up without their “Nana”.

2. Stay faithful no matter what. Arguably the most important thing you can teach your children. Deuteronomy 6:5 reads “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength.” Although Mom had a quiet faith, it was strong and steadfast and did not falter even through the difficult times she faced. It was obvious she never doubted that Jesus was her savior and that she would be going to be with Him some day. The frustration and pain of the health issues she faced could have easily jaded her but I never once heard her ask why God was putting her through it. This is definitely a lesson that is taught through actions and not words and I pray that for the rest of my life, whatever obstacle God brings me to, my reaction to it is a testimony of my faith, rather than an uncertainty of it.

1. Leave a Legacy Nichole Nordeman’s song Legacy says, “I want to leave a legacy, how will they remember me? Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things? I want to leave an offering. A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name, unapologetically – and leave THAT kind of legacy... Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred. I just want to hear instead, "Well Done, good and faithful one...”

A true legacy is not left in the amount of money you had, the jobs you held, or the houses you bought or built. All of these are things that moth, rust and thieves will destroy, according to scripture.

No – a true legacy is left in the way you made a difference in other people’s lives with your kindness and generosity. In the values that you instilled in your children and the love you gave them, your grandchildren, your husband and other family. And by the way you walked by faith, not by sight. Mom did all of these things – and she did them well. Now, Katie and I have a beautiful blueprint with which to map our own lives, so we can continue her legacy.

I miss you Mom – and I love you more!